She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
