you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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