"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
