Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You took a bar mat shot.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
