I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
