Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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