I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
