I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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