the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
