Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I need to stop coming to work sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I need to stop coming to work sober http://tfl.nu/5deo
  Replies (10) Good night (3383) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k
  Replies (5) Good night (4633) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had http://tfl.nu/9bpx
  Replies (7) Good night (6055) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): stuffed animals make me feel really maternal. http://tfl.nu/jnap
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (2254)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4464) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease. http://tfl.nu/08pd
  Replies (18) Good night (1027) Bad night (6136)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5429) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (2321)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision http://tfl.nu/1pgb
  Replies (21) Good night (4685) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can http://tfl.nu/kb09
  Replies (17) Good night (1488) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"? http://tfl.nu/rwp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1362) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.

  (1-925): View more from California

  How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night. (1-925): How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure? http://tfl.nu/pvre
  Replies (13) Good night (1314) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You're my favorite person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that. (1-913): You're my favorite person http://tfl.nu/9772
  Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry! http://tfl.nu/10qk
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (233)

Randomize