Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+

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(704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+ http://tfl.nu/62eq

Replies (91) Good night (25386) Bad night (1248)
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(404): View more from Georgia

yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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(404): yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you" http://tfl.nu/otku

Replies (11) Good night (3597) Bad night (817)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

Replies (27) Good night (1289) Bad night (11444)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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(519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug

Replies (29) Good night (6603) Bad night (1267)
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(315): View more from New York

my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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(315): my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless http://tfl.nu/2wfy

Replies (8) Good night (3448) Bad night (1382)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

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(303): Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever. http://tfl.nu/tsdi

Replies (10) Good night (2964) Bad night (1384)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?

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(781): do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents? http://tfl.nu/2gwr

Replies (13) Good night (692) Bad night (1660)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

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(731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh

Replies (12) Good night (2701) Bad night (797)
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(805): View more from California

i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

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(805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr

Replies (4) Good night (1996) Bad night (571)
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(256): View more from Alabama

OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

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(256): OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE http://tfl.nu/qfju

Replies (7) Good night (2408) Bad night (743)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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(413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore

Replies (11) Good night (1928) Bad night (643)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.

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(304): I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years. http://tfl.nu/ac3y

Replies (6) Good night (1040) Bad night (392)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.

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(201): I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone. http://tfl.nu/6r51

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (410)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?

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(601): It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/jgb0

Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (314)
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(602): View more from Arizona

you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"

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(602): you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food" http://tfl.nu/tcxp

Replies (2) Good night (1149) Bad night (337)

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