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• (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.

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