The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They took my balls.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.