Walk of Shame. In a state park.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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