Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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(316): sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe. http://tfl.nu/nxxv

Replies (38) Good night (927) Bad night (6727)
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(+44): View more from England

Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying

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(+44): Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying http://tfl.nu/14fx

Replies (62) Good night (6668) Bad night (917)
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(708): View more from Illinois

She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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(708): She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid http://tfl.nu/fpm2

Replies (26) Good night (8473) Bad night (935)
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(702): View more from Nevada

When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

I've always been the spiritual type.

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(702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. http://tfl.nu/v0oc

Replies (27) Good night (7743) Bad night (891)
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(305): View more from Florida

It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.

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(305): It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me. http://tfl.nu/n11o

Replies (46) Good night (2407) Bad night (8129)
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(917): View more from New York City

M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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(917): M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/5zhv

Replies (22) Good night (7323) Bad night (1121)
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(251): View more from Alabama

2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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(251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious

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(605): Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious http://tfl.nu/m6oe

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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(319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto

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(712): View more from Iowa

You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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(712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x

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(228): View more from Mississippi

how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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(228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz

Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (909)
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(302): View more from Delaware

It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert

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(302): It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert http://tfl.nu/8dr2

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(415): View more from California

I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.

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(415): I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS. http://tfl.nu/cwy1

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

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(401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together.. http://tfl.nu/x2kk

Replies (3) Good night (1717) Bad night (733)
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(917): View more from New York City

At a point I was just cumming dust last night

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(917): At a point I was just cumming dust last night http://tfl.nu/fyiy

Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (232)

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