I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"