I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
