just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hippo gnu deer
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...