Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
