I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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