Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
