HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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