You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
