True but thats because hes a fetus.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
