we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
