Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
