How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
