did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?