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I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
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