I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You are a genius and a whore.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."