If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.