in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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