what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting