brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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