I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize