Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"