she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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