That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
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The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?