who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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