Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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