is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
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Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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