When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
