So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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