it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The adults are the big ones right?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
