Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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