just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
