There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
