he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
