This is not my ceiling
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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