So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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