yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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