so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
