i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
