im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
