His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
