Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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