I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need a burrito and a hug.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
