The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You smell like stripper and shame
Swine flu is the new snow day.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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