I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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