She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
