why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
