So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
