So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
