It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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