one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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