It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
zippers are such a cool invention
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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