I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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