She said her name was "party"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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