my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
