Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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