so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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