My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
