mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Randomize
