lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
