I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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