she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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