they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
