I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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