Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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