You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
