I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
