my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
