can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
